by Lindsay Christerson
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” — Psalm 73:26
Since I was in college, I have gravitated toward the worship duo Shane & Shane. When I think about why, I put myself back in a small theatre in Nashville where they were acoustically singing their melodic versions of the Psalms. As I sat there exhausted, I felt held by God as the Word washed over and enveloped me. The stated hope for their music is that “the Word of Christ would dwell in you richly.” I would say that that goal is so often accomplished in my heart as it often points me to think and dwell on the scriptural lyrics.
One such song, “My Portion,” comes from Psalm 73 and this idea of God as my portion made me pause. Portion is such an ordinary word that I have wanted to do a word study on this idea so that my heart can connect to what the psalmist meant and let that scripture dwell more richly in my heart. So as we ask the Spirit to do the work of illumination, let’s look at it together.
When you look into verses that share this same Hebrew word, khay’lek, it often is conveying the normal meaning of the word “portion,” which brings to my mind how I parse out the chicken pot pie onto each plate for my family’s dinner, or cutting equal pieces of a cake to pass out to each person present—my part, my share, fair portions. It can also call up for me feelings about diet language—portion control—measuring macros or meticulous selection or restriction of food. If I am being honest, when I think of “my portion” I am thinking of what I don’t get, not of what I do. What is denied or withheld from me rather than the provision and gift that I am receiving.
Often in Scripture the Hebrew word in this verse for portion—khay’lek—is interchangeable with the word inheritance. Often verses state both portion and inheritance to double down on the idea. Inheritance brings up more abundance ideas for me than portion because in our current culture, inheritance is not what we rely on for our provision, our future. A dear friend of mine received an unexpected inheritance from a grandfather, and it was a lifestyle changing, unexpected gift. But most of us are saving for retirement, investing, etc. to plan for our future since we don’t live in a culture where we can walk our inheritance; where we see it in the form of acres, hooves, and harvests. When our parents pass, we might get something, but most of us don’t know that number or hold it as our security.
In the eyes of the psalmist, inheritance would not have been a more abundant word than portion. Your inheritance was consistent with your socioeconomic standing, you received your portion of the property that your family owned. What is more, the psalmist is Asaph—a prominent musician during David and Solomon’s rule. Asaph was a Levite. When the people of Israel conquered and settled in the Promised Land, Levites did not get a “portion” of the land.
“And the Lord said to Aaron, “You shall have no inheritance in their land, neither shall you have any portion among them. I am your portion and your inheritance among the people of Israel.” — Numbers 18:20 ESV
“Therefore Levi has no portion or inheritance with his brothers. The Lord is his inheritance, as the Lord your God said to him.” — Deuteronomy 10:9
So this word out of the psalmist’s mouth likely was trying to convey provision—meeting his needs. I can see how it would mean his worth also as one’s property often conveyed worth, status, and power. It would definitely mean his security, or lack thereof.
When God gave no portion to the priestly tribe of the Levites He told them, I am your provision. I am your worth. I am your power. I am your security. They relied on Him. They had to.
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” — Psalm 73:26
My body, thoughts, talent, mental health, emotional awareness, attempts at self-care, ability to keep everything together, perceptions, decisions, interpretation of people’s actions, reactions to stressful situations may fail. They absolutely will. But the strength of my heart is not based in the strength of my flesh, it is in God. And my heart and flesh are not my provision, worth, power, or security—God is my portion. Man, that is good news.
When I rely on my heart and flesh as my provision, worth, power, and security, all of those things are limited. Limited by my human heart and flesh. I have a dear, lifelong friend who believes deeply that everything she needs is within her. I bet you have a friend or at least follow someone on the interwebs who believes the same. I am certain you do because it is the secular belief system that threads through every cultural expression and content. Truth is within you. Find what is true for you. What is your truth? This idea that truth is within you and the outside world must align with what “I know to be true for me” is flawed because my understanding and perspective are limited. Limited by location, time, experience, culture, resources, bandwidth, emotions and energy. I will run into the end of myself and my ability. If my heart and flesh are my portion, it is an incredibly limited portion.
But if God is my portion…
We don’t ever get part of God. God doesn’t split himself up to portion out to each of His children. He can’t be split up. We don’t “get what we get” of God. We get all of Him, always. We don’t have to share and not ask for more. There is always more. This portion is limited only by our capacity to hold Him in our mind, heart, and soul—but it is always overflowing. Our human perception limits our experience of the unlimited provision, worth, power, and security we find in what He has promised us. How unlimited? Our union with Christ means that what is true of Jesus right now is also true of you. How limited do you think Christ’s provision, worth, power, and security are? UNlimited.
So what is needed for “God is my portion” to dwell in our hearts more richly? If my heart and flesh fail, if they are not my strength and my portion, if my provision, worth, power, and security are limited by my perceptions, how do I align my heart and flesh’s perceptions with the unlimited portion that I have in the Lord? Let’s zoom out in Psalm 73 and see how Asaph gets to this conclusion that God is his portion forever:
“Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works.— Psalm 73:23-26 (emphasis mine)
What is needed? Nearness, proximity, to be held, received, guided, with the Lord. To be His, and in His presence—that’s it. That’s the whole point. He’s the whole point. To have more of Him, unlimited amounts of more of Him. “And there is nothing on the earth that I desire besides you.” (vs.25) There is the provision—your desires align and all you need and want are found in Him. Your worth: when the object of your desire is holding your right hand and guiding you, when you can really connect to that intimacy with the one who has created and assigned value to all created things, your worth is overflowing. Your power is guided by the Omnipotent One’s council, what can the world do to you that is not for your good? Your security: when the one who owns the whole universe is your refuge and shelters you in the shadow of His wings, where else can you be more secure?
I know these are spiritual realities and there are real struggles in this world of sorrow. Physical provisions that are needed. Real emotional needs that are necessary to feel whole and regulated. Actual power struggles will cause pain and suffering in your life. Planning for future financial security is wise, prudent, and biblical. There is real evil and hurt and sorrow in the world. I know, trust me I know. But that does not make these spiritual realities less real. Realities that we now “see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known,” (1 Corinthians 13:12). Knowing that you are fighting a battle that He has already won—you are living a story and already know the glorious ending. Knowing that the writer of the story is holding you and paying particular attention to each detail of your life—if that is true then even if every earthly comfort was stripped from you and this life had nothing for you, if your heart and flesh fail—the Alpha and Omega is your strength and portion forever.
But wait, there’s more. Scripture says you are His portion!
“But the LORD’s portion is his people, Jacob his allotted heritage.” — Deuteronomy 32:9 (emphasis mine)
“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people,” — Ephesians 1:18 (emphasis mine)
Tim Keller preached a sermon on October 16, 2011, called “Marked by Possession” and he describes this so well:
“The Bible has the audacity to say that—here is God. He owns all the stars, all the galaxies, all the planets, all those worlds, but when He looks at you, he says, this is my inheritance. When He looks at you, He feels wealthy. When He looks at you, He sees you as more valuable than everything else in the universe put together.” say to yourself, ‘I am the special treasure of God. When the God of the universe looks at me, His heart wells up and he feels wealthy. And the great God of the universe is willing to use all of his omnipotent power to protect me and rescue me no matter what the cost.’ See if you don’t start taking that sort of thing into your center. You are going to be like everybody else around you. They are scrounging for compliments and strokes. They are desperate for affirmation. Longing for acclaim and approval. They are always nervous and always upset. You don’t have to have any of that in your life anymore, not if you understand this.”
What do you give to the God who has everything? You. That is all He wants. He left heaven and changed earth, He submitted to death and defeated it so that He can dwell with you the way he always wanted. He has everything. But He wants your heart, your presence, your affection. And when you draw near to Him, He gives you all of Himself. And He is enough. He is everything. He is my portion.
