By Deborah Peele
Have you ever felt lost in life, wondering what to do next, wanting to be obedient to God, but struggling to hear His voice? I am just coming out of such a season that really started two years ago.
Two years ago, I started to feel this stirring in my spirit that change was coming. I didn’t really know what that meant. I had been teaching at a small Christian school for 19 years and was wondering if change meant a different position, so I applied for a few different things, but nothing ever worked out. Fast forward to this January when the word “New” came to my mind in correlation with these Bible verses: Isaiah 43:19 ESV “Behold, I am doing a new thing: now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert” and Revelation 21:15 ESV “Behold, I am making all things new.” I thought this might be a word from the Lord, but what would he mean by this practically? I’m a tangible, practical person and want all the implications laid out to understand them.
That was when I remembered Emily P. Freeman’s Q and A. Her Q&A doesn’t mean Questions and Answers—it means Questions and Arrows. In her book and podcast The Next Right Thing, she explains that in life, we have a lot of questions, but God doesn’t always give us the answers right away. What He does give us is arrows…. sometimes one arrow at a time directing us step by step into the new thing He has for us. So, I started to pay attention and look for those arrows.
The first arrow came when I was serving at the newcomers brunch a few weeks later. I happened to be hosting a table with the middle school principal of Perimeter School. After I talked briefly about how I felt the Lord give me the word “new” this year and wondered aloud if it meant that I was supposed to pursue a new job, she wanted to hear more of my story and invited me to dinner—there was my next arrow. Even though it was a short dinner in between two meetings she had that day, I left feeling so encouraged and seen.
Two weeks later, she asked if I had given any more thought to applying to Perimeter and sent me a link to apply— there is another arrow if I ever saw one. I decided to fill out the application to see what would happen. I walked through the process involving multiple interviews with different groups of people. In every meeting I felt seen, known, and loved. During this process, my sister-in-law’s mom was diagnosed with cancer, and I felt the Lord press upon my spirit that I needed to be at Perimeter School next school year to be closer to my nephew who would be in 7th grade there. This was the confirmation—one might say an arrow—I needed to continue with this process until I was eventually hired!
Because of this process, I had such peace and confidence that Perimeter was exactly where I needed to be for the next school year. However, this also meant that I had to say goodbye to my school that I had loved and poured my heart into for 21 years. It was definitely a bittersweet end to the school year as I said goodbye to my beloved coworkers, students, and families of that school.
As I am writing this, I am in awe of God’s timing of leaving my school at this exact time. My former coworker (at my former school) and dear friend fought a hard, quick battle with cancer this summer. In God’s kindness, I was able to spend a lot of time with her during her battle and go to her funeral, which would have been my first day at my former school. Providentially, Perimeter school starts a week and a half later. Although I haven’t had much time to grieve and process before school starts, I graciously have a little more than my old schedule would have allowed, and that has been a gift.
As Puddleglum says in Silver Chair, “You see, Aslan didn’t tell Pole what would happen. He only told her what to do.” So often, we don’t know why God presses something onto our hearts. We may not even see a desired outcome immediately, but what I have learned through this process is that God is good, and He has good plans for me. I may not always understand them, but I need to remember that I am a beloved Child of the King and His heart towards me is kind. I get the opportunity to trust Him, follow Him, and leave the consequences of that up to Him.
Through this season, I have seen that God alone guides my steps. God alone is my provider. God alone is faithful.
